What am I doing?

I have prayed so long to hold this important position and each day I'm trying to figure out WHAT AM I DOING!!!!

I have a two and three year old and ultimately, this is the hardest job I've ever done!

There is nothing that I could have done or an experience that I could have had that would have prepped me for such a task.

My goal has been to love my children and create a place of peace and a space for them to grow. The hardest thing about doing that is my mom guilt and personnel insecurities. I don't want my children to be judged so I try to control them and shush their personalities so they will be what I want them to be (which will never happen)! I am learning as I go and realizing that I must let go of my expectations of them so that they be who God created them to be.

The thought/feeling that my children are disruptive and taking away from the world is something I don't even want to admit are there. I recognize my need to let these feelings go. My children are beautiful blessings who were created to bring joy into this world....I have to learn to step aside to let them be just that!

*The next issue of Now Magazine: "Parenting: The hardest yet most rewarding job", will be out June of 2019! More to come on this topic. Until then, happy parenting.